Gwen Stefani Show
Monday, May 21, 2007 at 09:15amSo, we went to the Lady Sovereign/Akon/Gwen Stefani show the other night. Sigh.
I am no prude, and I have no problem with kids having a good time. Having said that, Friday night left me absolutely appalled. I have never, NEVER, seen kids behave the ways we saw that night. We had two 17-year-olds with us, and they were disgusted as well. Of course, these are good kids who know the words to all the Ramones songs and the worst thing they do is giggle constantly.
Anyway, we got to the venue a few hours before the show was set to start, so we could have a picnic in the parking lot and meet up with our other friends. We picked a nice spot in the grass, set up the iPod, and hung out chatting. Soon, directly behind us, a group of boys arrived with several cases of beer and their party grew exponentially over the next hour or so. I mean, when we finally left to go inside, it was close to 30 kids strong. I have no problem with kids hanging out and being stupid. What I do have a problem with is underage kids drinking Miller High Life out of cans and thinking they’re the shit. I know they were drinking Miller High Life because every time one finished a can, they would simply toss it over their shoulder into the parking lot near where we were sitting. They got progressively louder. Then the girls showed up. Then there was the requisite boyfriend/girlfriend drama, where there was always at least one girl crying and another clone comforting her. After the second GLASS bottle sailed over our heads and crashed on the asphalt, Lisa looked at me and said flatly, “This Was A Mistake.”
At one point we glanced over to the adjoining parking lot and saw hundreds of kids running, en masse, like fucking Pamplona or something. Turns out it was a fight. The cops showed up over at that lot, but didn’t make it over to ours. By this point, the girls on the other side of us were SCREAMING at this gang of kids to stop touching their car. One boy was pissing on a tree directly across from us. I saw a kid that couldn’t have been more than 12 lighting up a cigarette. Girls with pants slung so low that all I remember is a sea of ass-crack. Really, ladies? We’re still doing that? And boys with their pants hanging nearly down to their knees? We’re still doing that, too? PULL UP YOUR PANTS. At one point, five of the boys started shooting dice. Shooting dice? WTF, are you suddenly in the Rat Pack? Who DOES that? When they had finished their four cases, someone pulled out a giant glass bottle of gin, and we immediately packed up our picnic and hightailed it inside.
We found a nice spot on the lawn, surrounded by families and calmer-looking youngsters. Everything was fine, actually. Lady Sovereign came on and, even though she only played four songs, one of those songs included a white-hot cover of the Sex Pistols’ “Pretty Vacant.” She has a guitar riff on one song, but since she can’t play guitar, she used the Guitar Hero guitar instead. So funny.
Then Akon came on, and I died a thousand deaths inside. I’m sorry, but gross. If you’ve never had the pleasure of being in the middle of thousands of drunken kids screaming in unison “I WANT TO FUCK YOU,” well, obviously, you’ve never really lived. I still feel dirty. The only thing I enjoyed about Akon was his DJ, because he looked like Angelo from Fishbone. Anyway, after Akon sang that “I want to fuck you” song and then launched into “Smack That,” he told us to hold up our cellphones and “support the troops.” I laughed so hard I think I ruptured something. Fuck you, Akon.
After his set, Lisa, her niece and I decided to visit the ladies room. HA! On the way there, we encountered crying girls, piles of puke, kids practically having sex right on the lawn, and various dramas and girls with runny eyeliner sobbing drunkenly. Pretty! Once we got IN the bathroom, we were treated to the lovely sound of some girl apparently vomiting up her shoes. Soon afterward the bathroom started flooding.
I know I say this all the time, but I mean it more than ever. I am never having children.
But Gwen Stefani? Was so awesome. She’s so beautiful and her clothes were amazing and her dancers are so talented. Fun fun fun. At one point she came out into the audience. Not unheard of. But - and you people that have been to the Arts Center will appreciate this - she came all the way out to the LAWN and performed a song standing in the crowd. The lawn! I’ve been going to that place for twenty years and not once have I seen any performer do that. You go, girl.
Rona on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 9:23 am
Ugh. That’s pretty much every OAR concert I’ve attended. I feel so old, and have such little patience.
GeekBoy on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 9:29 am
Hey, my friends and I used to shoot dice at that age!
It was called Dungeons & Dragons.
Okay … so not quite the same thing.
Chuck on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 10:04 am
Sounds like every high school spring break I went to from 86-89.
krup on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 11:19 am
go gwen for elevating the evening. hopefully gwen on the lawn will be the memory etched in the brains of your two 17 year old charges and not the boneheadedness of the rest of your day
Michael on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 11:56 am
I’ll see your Dungeons & Dragons, Geekboy, and raise you a Friday night euchre tournament.
Michael on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 11:58 am
Admittedly, I was a sheltered youth, but this spectacle seems way beyond normal teen behavior. In a public venue?
Thank god there was a performer who can’t really sing or play instruments (my favorite kind? holla, Robbie!) was there to save the night.
Maggie on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 11:59 am
We used to play euchre too! But we used to get drunk and stoned while we did it.
freakgirl on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I thought it was beyond normal teen behavior, too. They were like a pack of wild animals. I hope I’m not coming across as some grumpy old lady…I get that kids will always drink and party. I’m no angel myself, but I was really shocked that these kids would put themselves in such terribly dangerous situations. Go ahead, experiment with the liquor, drink till you puke. But why can’t you just wait until your parents go out of town like everyone else? The thought that these kids were going to be driving later was freaking me out.
sandra on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 12:15 pm
This is a big reason I refuse to go to the Virgin Music Festival, despite my love for Bjork. Trapped on Toronto Island with thousands of irritating young and old (as in my experience, it isn’t just the youngsters that can ruin a good time) for an entire day just isn’t in the cards for me anymore.
Glad to hear you guys were able to enjoy parts of the show!
Ellen on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Gwen climbed in the audience at the Jones Beach show last night and tried to scale the mezzanine wall. She tried going even further, but her mike wouldn’t work. Akon really toned down his show, even warning the kids to cover their ears when he cursed. He kept screaming “let me hear you New York City”, which started to drive me and my daughter nuts because we weren’t in the city. When he stopped to do the cell phone thing I almost peed. Gwen was fantastic, loved the costumes. As I told freakgirl, she’s definitely my new girl crush, even though I am a married, hetero, 40 year old mom of 2.
Chuck on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 12:46 pm
I was recently taught to play euchre by my in-laws! Great game, must be an Ohio/medwest thing, cause I’d never heard of it. Good times.
Beth on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 3:17 pm
We used to play euchre too! But we used to get drunk and stoned while we did it.
And in two short sentences, Maggie has nicely summed up why it took me five years to get through college.
mindy on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Euchre is absolutely my Midwest Test. People not from there have never even heard of it. We played it “Who’s still sober enough to totally cheat?”
GeekBoy on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Okay, at the risk of sounding stupid …
What the hell is Euchre? Does it have anything to do with eating the body of Christ?
Jane on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Card game, GB. A couple of my favorite places in town have a Euchre tournament night once a week.
Heh, Jack Bauer, right or left?
Max on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 6:30 pm
You’re not a grumpy old lady, FG–I see hints and precursors of the atrocities you witnessed every day at school…and eavesdrop on my students enough to feel pretty confident that most weekends for many folks on the teen scene are pretty much an “Akon concert experience.” Gross! I’m certainly not a prude or an idealist, but good grief–as my father would say (while I laugh and laugh at how dated his reference for debauchery is), “It’s like something out of Tobacco Road!” :-)
Another way my job is like the concert you went to: Instant affirmation of my belief that I never never NEVER want to have children. Ever.
p.s. “Hold up your cell phones and support the troops!” is totally entering my vernacular!
freakgirl on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 7:13 pm
I hope to transition it into my everyday conversation as well.
Had a bad day? Hold up your cellphone and support the troops!
Done something really stupid? Hold up your cellphone and support the troops!
Just got dumped? Hold up your cellphone and support the troops!
maddie on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Ah, sounds like the Jimmy Buffet and Dave Matthews Band concerts of my college years. No thank you. Done with that, and they weren’t HALF as bad as what you described. What a nightmare. It’s a shame those kids don’t care what complete assholes they are.
I would give my left arm to see Gwen Stefani live, though. Sounds like she was worth waiting for, even if you were surrounded by idiots.
Charlie B on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Euchre was a big part of college for me. We played all the time. And though not many people around here know what it is, I don’t think I’ve ever met a Canadian who didn’t know how to play. And most of the people I know who do know how to play, were taught by Canadians.
charlotte on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 8:57 pm
I couldn’t wait to get home and see what you wrote, and it’s all true - no exaggeration whatsoever! Mike and I arrived an hour later than you, and were greeted by the mob of unruly young’uns smashing a bottle directly in front of our car as Lisa tried to guide us into a parking space. It’s a miracle we didn’t get a flat tire. When we left the parking lot to walk up to the concert, I wondered if the cars would even be there at all when we got back. HOWEVER… Gwen never disappoints. Great cupcakes too…..
freakgirl on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Charlotte, what did she do for encore?
(we left before the encore so we could get the hell out quickly)
charlotte on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 9:49 pm
She played something slow, and then “What are you Waiting For”. Getting out of there was actually much easier then getting into the venue.
Brent on Saturday, May 26, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Freakgirl, I went to the Gwen concert on the 14th here in NC and I pretty much had the same experience. I actually recorded video on my cell of the I WANT TO FUCK YOU singing and pre-teen girls dancing for the sheer audacity of it. It. was. insane. I showed it to my best friend who wasn’t in attendance and her mouth just dropped open. It was like every young girl decided to turn into a stripper for the night, right? Disgusting.
As for the actual show? I missed Lady Sovereign unfortunately, but did see Akon who was disgusting beyond belief. And for Gwen? The set was pretty good and the costumes were GREAT but I thought the set list was pretty weak. People started to actually leave after Akon and half-way through Gwen, about half of the remaining people left. It just seemed like the new album doesn’t have enough solid songs to support a tour and she performed ballads for the majority of the concert (1 fast song then 4 slow songs, etc)-everyone I was with commented that it seemed to bring the mood down. She didn’t walk out onto the lawn for us, but the way the Alltel pavilion is set up, I doubt she would have been able - that would have been nice. Kudos to her actually singing live — she didn’t lip synch once.
All in all, I have to say I left disappointed (I bet her concert last year was fabulous)- but I can’t complain too much for a $10 show, right?
freakgirl on Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 12:44 pm
I agree; she did play too many ballads. Our show was $20 - no fair!